What has 142 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My zipper. Day #1

**sigh**

This past weekend, it was thee following::
Me, Precious, Kaley, Denitra, Harry, Mike, and Koby or was it Coby..??
Not 100% positive.
But it really doesn’t matter cause they thought my name was Samantha..or Ashley..

“Samantha..Samantha..SAMANTHA!”
“Ohh..that’s not her name, dawg. No wonder Samantha wasn’t responding.”


Tsk..anyways.

Me and Precious had this little pact thing where we WOULD talk to some boys this time going out.

I mean, we saw some boys, and we were realll closeee to going up to them, but they like..we wouldn’t..ugh..it just didn’t happen, okay?!

Then I got to thinking like, what is it?
What am I missing??
I mean, I’m cute. I can dress. I give some sort of eye contact. But just..hmm..what is it??

DING DING DING!
It’s my lack of communication skills.

I mean, if a dude comes at me first, I can talk. But if it’s the other way around..uhhh..nope. Won’t work out.

Maybe it’s because I don’t want to feel the rush of rejection.
I don’t know.

But if I put myself in a guy’s Nikes, they’ll go up to who ever they want, talk to them, yeah they might get the girl and other times, they get rejected.
But they keep on going, and I respect that.

It’s just..ROAR!!
Haha..why can’t I do this?!

So yess, I went to my final resort.
Google.

I see a couple of Yahoo Answers questions or whatev..and this one girl is like asking how should she introduce herself to guys.
And that’s exactly what my dilemma is.
I don’t have a hard time talking to guys..once I get to know them.
So I just need to learn how to INTRODUCE myself to some finee mother suckers.

Picture it with me if you will::

Walking through the mall. You see HIM. Absolutely gorgeous.
What do you do??

A) Continue walking.
B) Stare and drool at him.
C) You friggin’ swallow that nervous-ness in you and grab those balls to reassure yourself that you can do this. And you grab that dudes left..LEFT!! Elbow, look him in the eyes, smile at him, and you compliment his pa-tooty on the shoes or shirt he is wearing..
[[Even if you don’t even like dudes who wear Abercrombie or Hot Topic, bish you better compliment him to thee fullest!!]]
And then simply..walk away. But! When you start to walk away, wait three seconds, then turn back around. If he’s looking at you, you’re Golden. But if he’s not..well..whatever. It doesn’t matter cause like, that’s his loss, and you don’t necessarily “feel” rejected because all you did wass..yupp you guessed it..
All You Did Was Compliment Him.

I uh, hope you picked C.

You can like, talk more to ‘ol dude if you wish, but the whole compliment thing is just a starter.

****

Tip Number 214
This is kind of more direct to my ladies. When you finally got that chance to talk to Guy, there may be a chance that you get them digits. But whatever you do, give him your digits but don’t take his. If he likes you, he will call.
But why shouldn’t you take his number??
Here’s why.
If he likes you and wants to hang out with you, he will call. If he didn’t and has like, no intentions either, but he took your number anywho, he won’t call. What you have brilliantly done is left the ball in his court.
And guys want to feel dominate, and him being able to further this loveee thang, will make him feel good, just like ah man should.