..of what the future holds.
I'm so used to living in dreamland and pretending like everything is alright so when reality sets in..I get overwhelmed and punk out.
I never really show my true emotions except when they build up so much I just have to let them out.
eh.
I smile so much because I don't want people to see me down..I don't want to bring other people's moods down because I wouldn't want them to bring mines down.
Staying optimistic is always better because..I don't know it just is. But sometimes I do move to the pessimistic side.
This section is all over the place. I wrote it last night in my phone after I got out of the shower. The shower is my thinking place.
..of being lonely.
Not in a boyfriend-girlfriend type way but in a..ugh..I guess my family and loved ones period.
I know eventually everyone has to die and stuff..but right now if anyone close to me were to die I'd probably lose my mind.
Last night I read this story and the main character's best friend got shot and died. And I'm sitting here crying my eyes out because it seemed so realistic and I start thinking like what if that happened to me, what if someone close to me died and I'm too busy having fun at the moment so I didn't get the news until it was too late.; I hate 'what if' questions but still.
..of struggling.
I know everyone struggles but I'm sick and tired of it. and I'm scared that like..we're gonna be struggling soo hard that we can't catch up to were we used to be. If that makes any sense.
April 7, 2009
The Truth..
I'm so used to living in dreamland and pretending like everything is alright so when reality sets in..I get overwhelmed and punk out.
I never really show my true emotions except when they build up so much I just have to let them out.
eh.
I smile so much because I don't want people to see me down..I don't want to bring other people's moods down because I wouldn't want them to bring mines down.
Staying optimistic is always better because..I don't know it just is. But sometimes I do move to the pessimistic side.
This section is all over the place. I wrote it last night in my phone after I got out of the shower. The shower is my thinking place.
..of being lonely.
Not in a boyfriend-girlfriend type way but in a..ugh..I guess my family and loved ones period.
I know eventually everyone has to die and stuff..but right now if anyone close to me were to die I'd probably lose my mind.
Last night I read this story and the main character's best friend got shot and died. And I'm sitting here crying my eyes out because it seemed so realistic and I start thinking like what if that happened to me, what if someone close to me died and I'm too busy having fun at the moment so I didn't get the news until it was too late.; I hate 'what if' questions but still.
..of struggling.
I know everyone struggles but I'm sick and tired of it. and I'm scared that like..we're gonna be struggling soo hard that we can't catch up to were we used to be. If that makes any sense.
April 7, 2009
The Truth..
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